One of the greatest things about becoming an old fart is learning how much fun it is to be an old fart - especially at Christmas. You don't have to worry about trends, you really don't have to worry about even your appearance and you have a ready made target in all your half-baked humour simply by pointing at anyone younger than in your own decade. Consider this:

Anyone who can say why artists are compelled to do what they do – write poems or stories, draw sketches or make sculptures and share them with the world – will probably be providing an answer to the question of why we update our Facebook status or post photos that prove the details of our lives at times like these.

Note the self serving implication that the soul tapping, mass marketed make-me-a-parrot trends of social networking is giving that whiff of more than legitimacy but smack artistry! What clap trap. This Christmas stay away from the computer, throw a snowball, talk to a cousin, listen to others and don't be a dweeb.