Tired of the pap that has passed for children's TV since the advent of "My Little Pony" and that damned purple dinosaur Barney? Needing an opportunity to introduce fear and other lessons into the lives of your kiddies in a controlled yet, err, meaningful way? Hold a Who-la-thon! And if you are going to hold a proper Who-law-thon, you need a number of things:

• A room full of pre-teens ready to be fed junk food then unknowingly being prepared to be terrified. Sit said kids packed on to one sofa to maximize huddling in terror (HIT) effect.
• A selection of Doctor Who episodes from a variety of eras and series. Avoid the first and second Doctors as black and white TV confuses people under forty. Prepare screening in an order to maximize HIT through developing a crescendo of fear. We chose 1975's two-parter The Sontaran Experiment with the Fourth Doctor, a Sarah Jane Adventure with Slitheens followed by a two-parter from the Tenth Doctor, the most recent, featuring Cybermen.
• Remove all pillows and hats from the immediate viewing area so as to limit the face hiding opportunities within the rec room.
• During showing use phrases like "oh, you are not going to like this bit" and "make sure you see this bit" just before the bodies begin to pile up or a well loved semi-minor character gets zapped so as to encourage more HIT.
• Adopt vocal tone of most evil character during mid-screening chit chat.
• Remind children periodically that things always work out in the end never indicating clearly when the end shall come.
• Leave lights off throughout the house and plan Who-la-thon so as to hours of darkness to provide for immediate trip in dark well past bedtime leaving little opportunity for answering of questions.

Remember, the Who-la-thon is a teaching moment with lasting consequences. Consider using the Who-la-thon as the moment to introduce cola drinks into your children's diet to avoid the faint likelihood of nodding off after the spike of sugared snacks from the early hours wears off. Also, this is the time when the illusion of the perfection of parents can be helpfully dispelled so understand that the right answer to questions like "why did the Earth blow up, Daddy?" or "what happens if the invasion fleet isn't destroyed" is a quietly spoken and slightly delayed "I have no idea." Because you really don't.