The second link in the blurd is busted. I don't think I'll get the joke(if it is a joke) without what's there, no?
Dang it.

Now...go now...

You can't be expected to understand, seeing as you're from away and all.

Thank God for that. But you are even farther away, Ben. You left. You made that choice. You will never be accepted again, Ben. You had Eden and ate the apple by taking the bridge.

Actually, I left by plane. I've gone and gone too many times to count now. I did do most of my public school learning there though and that's got to count fer sumtin, right?

That is what you'd think but they are talking about you in unkind tones back at the Mall.

Which mall? downtown or uptown? I don't trust any stock in what those townies say anyway.

You would...if they just never build that Bridge.

Sigh.
I went to uni at UC Davis. The town where you had to take a bus or bum a ride off of a friend to take you 15 miles away to buy socks that didn't cost $5(US) a pair because the townies wanted to keep their 'small town charm'. A town where there was nothing to do if you were single and didn't have kids,unless you wanted to go to bars and get utterly plastered, go to coffee shops and hear bad spoken word poetry, or stand on the side of the road and protest the nuclear reactor that was used by the U for research purposes because the city was supposed to be a 'nuclear free zone.'
Not to mention I live in a small town now(Lafayette) where the same practice is being questioned(Marsh and Marathon, grocer and gas pumper respsectively, teamed up to do the same thing)
I soooooo get this.
1) Either the people on the Island are silly enough to take the coupon, drive the Mom and Pop stores out of business and then watch the retailers(analogs of Sam's Club or other big box stores I take it) jack the price up when they have a monopoly or major market share, or their smart enough to think 3 years ahead.
2) I'm amazed how often times progressivism now days is taking pages out of the conservative play book. 'We musn't ever change. How it is now is how it must forever be. We like it and will refuse to change!'
So sad.