When I woke I knew there was something wrong - there were no pork ribs marinading in the fridge overnight. Action had to be taken. A quick trip at 9:18 am to Loblaws - aka that slob Bob Loblaw's - and found a side of baby backs for under 12 bucks. It was with double suspicion that I eyed the side ribs - they were just as much money when they should be half the cost and they were "seasoned". Seasoning requires injection of an unknown saline solution into the pork. Avoid them at all costs.

Armed with today's New York Times, Montreal Gazette, Toronto Globe and Mail as well as two loaves from Pan Chancho, I sped home hypocritically wondering about the lot of the retail worker. Throwing Dinosaur BBQ convention to the four winds, I created a rub of ground coffee, dry mild pepper and chinese mushroom zipped up in the coffee grinder - which is among the best 20 bucks you can spend for the kitchen. I scored the ribs and undertook rib rubbery. Around said rub, I poured two bottles of Wagner Valley Caywood Station Oatmeal Stout, reviewed here, so as not to disturb dry meaty side. All shall be left on the counter warm for three hours.

Further notes will no doubt follow. I note in the meantime that David Janes is taking great strides in his ribbly edjekashun.