If you don't follow my neighbour Brian, who is back in Iraq serving as a legal affairs officer with the 10th Mountain Div. prosecuting low level military infractions, you miss stories like this one:

After the local had gone on his merry way, the soldier then said to his redneck buddies, "Lemme show you how I pick dates," and the proceeded to alledgedly fire his weapon at the top of the tree. The (again, hypothetical) sworn statement neglected to mention whether or not his efforts were, uh... fruitful. And then he alledgedly turned his attention on a stray canine. What an alledged idiot.